Believe it or not, I'm not. I'm curious about these changes.
A wolf for me. (Sorry, Sanji, but to his credit he has no interest in shoving that in Sanji's face. He already was stronger than Sanji back home so what was the difference with a rabbit versus wolf scenario? He saw no point in gloating over that kind of thing.)
How annoying are your new instincts? (Because his SUCKED.)
[ a wolf. of course a fucking wolf. although a peacock would have been more fitting. ]
my kicks are even stronger than before. i can definitely beat you in a race.
[ that might be, literally, the only good thing that's happened. his aim is still shit because he's not training with anyone, not even himself, and his nerves have been shot since the change, as if he's inherited all the skittishness of a real fucking rabbit. his bloodlust, at least, has been curbed since connecting with nami, though he does find himself tempted by vegetables.
he's not even going to mention his fucking ears. ]
it's easier being alone than around people. that's not who i am though, and everyone thinks something's wrong with me already, so if i say that, it'll make things worse.
(It really would have been. Mihawk wouldn't even deny that.)
Probably.
(Although he was faster now as a wolf, he had gained far more strength than speed. He was fine with that trade-off. He wasn't quite as fine with his own set of ears and tail. Both didn't seem to get the memo about his stoic bullshit. He had zero control over them and life was the worst because of it.
Fuck them ears!)
Why would you think everyone assumes something is wrong with you? I mean besides your less than savory personality.
(WOW.)
I do not need anyone to "take care" of me.
(.........
......................
..................................)
Koby is living with me now. We figured it was a more appropriate arrangement.
(CLEARING HIS THROAT.)
I take it Zoro and Nami are making sure you have what you need?
[ he is sort of wondering about the hat situation if mihawk has sprouted ears like he has. his are not comfortable to touch. or maybe the problem is they're too comfortable to touch. he also has fucking antlers, but that's neither here nor there, and none of this shitbag's business.
he really, genuinely thinks before answering. ]
i killed a bunch of women. the mothers. i know that's nothing to you, but it's not nothing to me. i don't give a shit what you or anyone else thinks of me [ a small lie; there's nami and zoro on the short list, one opinion carrying far more weight than the other ] but the man who raised me taught me to live a certain way. i don't harm women. i don't fight women. and he'd
[ his hand trembles. what would zeff do? toss him on his ass? look at him with hatred? or worse, indifference, like judge vinsmoke had? maybe zeff hadn't been kidding when he said he'd take a knife to his throat if sanji ever fucked up this badly. it's hard to tell; he'd been a shitty little kid at the time, yelling back or crying at everything the old shitbag said. usually both. ]
anyway, i don't want your fucking opinion. i just haven't figured things out yet, and it's not any easier with all the changes.
[ .............. ]
you guys weren't shacked up before?
nami did a ritual. some connection thing. it stops a lot of the bullshit, like the bloodlust and the weird body stuff. you need a witch to do it for you. you found anyone? koby probably would, if you asked. and nami and i are connected now. she can call me anytime and i just feel it. it's like i know where she is and i'm there. she saved me, really.
(He keeps his ears stuffed under the hat with absolute gratitude. However, when he was just at home alone or with Koby, the hat came off. He had discovered a humiliating love for having his ears scratched. It was a new weakness apparently.
Mihawk stares at his notebook and it catches him off guard a bit. Was that how he came off?)
Please. I hardly make a habit out of killing defenseless creatures if it can be helped. There is nothing to be proud of in that. (It posed no challenge to him and he saw no value in shedding that kind of blood. Whether Sanji believed him hardly mattered to him, but it was true. He had never been the sort to be cruel just for the fun of it even if he was often cold. Granted, he had killed an enormous amount of women in his life too, but those women had been far from damsels or innocent, and they either came at him with their own swords and weapons.
He had a feeling that wasn't the kind of bloodshed Sanji was talking about here though. A self-imposed rule then by the only person who had served as a mentor to Sanji. He sighs.)
That man would likely consider your genuine guilt as an obvious sign that the situation was beyond your usual control. If you regret it, then fine, regret it, and promise to do better in the future to pay respect to the women you killed and to the man you admire.
(It's really that easy, Sanji, gosh. Coming from a guy who frankly has no concept of guilt, but he...doesn't like Sanji. He just doesn't like seeing him put out.)
No, we were not. After the change, I decided I wanted him near more often than not.
(Wow, Mihawk. Expose yourself, why don't you. But really, it's the wolfish part of him that now felt viciously loyal and protective.)
I see. So, Nami came back to you. (Despite everything. He's...glad for them.)
You must be thrilled with that. Maybe so. I leave that kind of decision up to him. I try to allow him his autonomy. He may not want to maintain such a connection with me.
(...But Mihawk would love that. It sounded as convenient as it did comforting and there's a mild bubble of jealousy in the pit of his stomach.)
[ so maybe mihawk isn't an indiscriminate killer. zoro had been asking to get himself sliced open, after all — and zoro's still alive, which is a fairly large point of consideration. and now mihawk has taken him under his wing, as if he genuinely wants to see him succeed. these aren't exactly the actions of someone who spills blood for sport.
sanji might actually be worse. he'd... enjoyed the taste of blood, the raw rending of flesh. it only turned his stomach after. by then it was too late.
mihawk's solution seems far too simple, and yet he thinks about it anyway, desperate to latch onto any hope that zeff might not hate him for what he did. that's enough sharing about the old geezer. ]
you can just say you like him.
[ because he already knows that much — especially now, with what he's recently discovered about koby, which isn't... surprising, per se, but it's been oddly difficult to get out of his head. i wanted him near more often than not definitely sounds like like.
it sounds like what he wants with nami, and even with zoro sometimes, but it's becoming more complicated than that. he hesitates again. something about scratching his thoughts down on paper seems easier than voicing them aloud, even if he's generally unthinking about who sees the pages at all times. ]
i don't think it's like that. nami came back because zoro asked her to. because of what i did with the mothers. she knew about the connection ritual. she knew i needed one. she could have kept living the way she wanted to if not for that.
i can tell koby you need a connection, if you're gonna be a little shitty baby about it.
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no subject
A wolf for me. (Sorry, Sanji, but to his credit he has no interest in shoving that in Sanji's face. He already was stronger than Sanji back home so what was the difference with a rabbit versus wolf scenario? He saw no point in gloating over that kind of thing.)
How annoying are your new instincts? (Because his SUCKED.)
no subject
my kicks are even stronger than before. i can definitely beat you in a race.
[ that might be, literally, the only good thing that's happened. his aim is still shit because he's not training with anyone, not even himself, and his nerves have been shot since the change, as if he's inherited all the skittishness of a real fucking rabbit. his bloodlust, at least, has been curbed since connecting with nami, though he does find himself tempted by vegetables.
he's not even going to mention his fucking ears. ]
it's easier being alone than around people.
that's not who i am though, and everyone thinks something's wrong with me already, so if i say that, it'll make things worse.
is koby taking care of you?
no subject
Probably.
(Although he was faster now as a wolf, he had gained far more strength than speed. He was fine with that trade-off. He wasn't quite as fine with his own set of ears and tail. Both didn't seem to get the memo about his stoic bullshit. He had zero control over them and life was the worst because of it.
Fuck them ears!)
Why would you think everyone assumes something is wrong with you? I mean besides your less than savory personality.
(WOW.)
I do not need anyone to "take care" of me.
(.........
......................
..................................)
Koby is living with me now. We figured it was a more appropriate arrangement.
(CLEARING HIS THROAT.)
I take it Zoro and Nami are making sure you have what you need?
no subject
he really, genuinely thinks before answering. ]
i killed a bunch of women. the mothers.
i know that's nothing to you, but it's not nothing to me.
i don't give a shit what you or anyone else thinks of me [ a small lie; there's nami and zoro on the short list, one opinion carrying far more weight than the other ] but the man who raised me taught me to live a certain way. i don't harm women. i don't fight women. and he'd
[ his hand trembles. what would zeff do? toss him on his ass? look at him with hatred? or worse, indifference, like judge vinsmoke had? maybe zeff hadn't been kidding when he said he'd take a knife to his throat if sanji ever fucked up this badly. it's hard to tell; he'd been a shitty little kid at the time, yelling back or crying at everything the old shitbag said. usually both. ]
anyway, i don't want your fucking opinion.
i just haven't figured things out yet, and it's not any easier with all the changes.
[ .............. ]
you guys weren't shacked up before?
nami did a ritual. some connection thing.
it stops a lot of the bullshit, like the bloodlust and the weird body stuff.
you need a witch to do it for you. you found anyone?
koby probably would, if you asked. and nami and i are connected now. she can call me anytime and i just feel it. it's like i know where she is and i'm there.
she saved me, really.
no subject
Mihawk stares at his notebook and it catches him off guard a bit. Was that how he came off?)
Please. I hardly make a habit out of killing defenseless creatures if it can be helped. There is nothing to be proud of in that. (It posed no challenge to him and he saw no value in shedding that kind of blood. Whether Sanji believed him hardly mattered to him, but it was true. He had never been the sort to be cruel just for the fun of it even if he was often cold. Granted, he had killed an enormous amount of women in his life too, but those women had been far from damsels or innocent, and they either came at him with their own swords and weapons.
He had a feeling that wasn't the kind of bloodshed Sanji was talking about here though. A self-imposed rule then by the only person who had served as a mentor to Sanji. He sighs.)
That man would likely consider your genuine guilt as an obvious sign that the situation was beyond your usual control. If you regret it, then fine, regret it, and promise to do better in the future to pay respect to the women you killed and to the man you admire.
(It's really that easy, Sanji, gosh. Coming from a guy who frankly has no concept of guilt, but he...doesn't like Sanji. He just doesn't like seeing him put out.)
No, we were not. After the change, I decided I wanted him near more often than not.
(Wow, Mihawk. Expose yourself, why don't you. But really, it's the wolfish part of him that now felt viciously loyal and protective.)
I see.
So, Nami came back to you. (Despite everything. He's...glad for them.)
You must be thrilled with that.
Maybe so. I leave that kind of decision up to him. I try to allow him his autonomy. He may not want to maintain such a connection with me.
(...But Mihawk would love that. It sounded as convenient as it did comforting and there's a mild bubble of jealousy in the pit of his stomach.)
Of course she did. She cares deeply for you.
no subject
sanji might actually be worse. he'd... enjoyed the taste of blood, the raw rending of flesh. it only turned his stomach after. by then it was too late.
mihawk's solution seems far too simple, and yet he thinks about it anyway, desperate to latch onto any hope that zeff might not hate him for what he did. that's enough sharing about the old geezer. ]
you can just say you like him.
[ because he already knows that much — especially now, with what he's recently discovered about koby, which isn't... surprising, per se, but it's been oddly difficult to get out of his head. i wanted him near more often than not definitely sounds like like.
it sounds like what he wants with nami, and even with zoro sometimes, but it's becoming more complicated than that. he hesitates again. something about scratching his thoughts down on paper seems easier than voicing them aloud, even if he's generally unthinking about who sees the pages at all times. ]
i don't think it's like that.
nami came back because zoro asked her to. because of what i did with the mothers.
she knew about the connection ritual. she knew i needed one.
she could have kept living the way she wanted to if not for that.
i can tell koby you need a connection, if you're gonna be a little shitty baby about it.