yeah, i do. you were testing out the connection, right? i think it worked pretty well.
nami, about that. zoro brought home a bundle of mistletoe because he thought it was edible, and i put it up all over the house because i didn't want it to go to waste. it had a strange effect on the both of us. it stopped when i had him take it all down. is that what you wanted to know about? it's not going to happen again.
i'm not mad about it. in fact, you probably felt how much i liked you two being together. that's what i wanted to talk about, actually. you could feel me, right? physically? when i was touching myself. i could feel you. sometimes when i was touching, it felt like i was touching you, almost.
yeah. i could feel you. it did feel like you were touching me. all the things you were feeling... the things you feel for zoro, that's also what made me act the way i did. i felt all of that, too. i'm not mad about it, either. you and zoro.
if you liked it, then i could do it again. for you. if it makes you happy.
( very troubling, when you're offered the thing that you want, but for all the wrong reasons. )
could you feel what i felt for you, too? i did like it, but it wouldn't make me happy if you were just doing it for me. i want you to be happy too, sanji. and i kinda thought i mean, i thought i felt something like that from you then, too. like maybe we felt the same sort of way towards zoro, a little. it felt like you wanted me to push you into it, so you could enjoy it. but, i don't know. if that's just me seeing what i want to see i'm gonna feel really bad about encouraging you to do it.
you shouldn't feel bad. none of it was your fault. i don't mind doing things for you, nami.
[ he'd been thinking a lot of things then, and feeling even more, and he doesn't know how much of it reached nami. clearly, some. the hateful lust he harbors for zoro's chiseled body and full lips and dark lashes, at least. if even an ounce of luck is on his side, she hadn't gotten a whiff of his absurd fears or his violent childhood ghosts that circle him like a carcass, all made worse every time he clashes with zoro. ]
i feel you all the time, now that we're connected. you're my whole heartbeat. you're the one i want.
but i think about you and zoro sometimes. i don't know exactly what you shared, but he he probably needs you too.
but you do understand how being with someone you don't want to be with because i want you there is messed up. right?
( we Gotta get this guy some sense of self worth. )
you're in my chest, too. heartbeat is the perfect way to put it.
we just kissed, the once. i think he doesn't want to upset you, after everything. so i'm pretty sure he needs you, too. i already told him i'm not giving you up. now i'm telling you i'm not giving him up either.
[ he tries to affirm her statement. tries to write yes, i understand. no, i don't want to be with him. but his pencil hovers over his notebook for the longest moment, his fingers still.
finally — ]
it's hard to be with him.
[ that's. the stupidest thing he's ever heard. zoro, not wanting to upset him? he would go get permanently lost in the woods if that was actually the case, or not bring home bundles of poisonous, accidentally horny shit. ]
i don't want you to give him up. i don't want you to have to give anything up. you should get everything you want and more. you deserve that. do you want to do more with him than kiss?
the lines got blurry for a number of reasons, but i don't need that anymore. i have you. and if he has you too, he doesn't need that either. you're more than enough.
the two of you being together? no. it wouldn't hurt me. i sort of like the thought of it.
( while the thought of them fighting over nami’s vagina is partially hilarious, the other part is her usual reaction to their bickering — playful annoyance. it’s time to play on the offensive side, she decides. )
what if we both got on our knees for you? whose throat would you fuck? what if you’re the one who needs satisfying?
[ this conversation has become unwieldy, and if it were anyone but nami he would have told them to shut up a long time ago, but — he doesn’t have that option here. ]
nami, i wouldn’t do that to you. it’s degrading. so his.
it is. i’m asking, what if what we want to do together involves you? what if we both want to make you feel good? you were doing a lot for both of us, last time. i want to know what it would be like the other way.
[ there isn't anything he wouldn't do for nami, his loyalty limitless, his love a steady, growing thing even if nami can't say it as freely as he can. but the things she's proposing? being with nami is easy. it's as natural as breathing. to submit himself to zoro in the same way would be like offering up a rabbit to be skinned and butchered. he can't picture himself going down without a fight. ]
( a lull in her writing, while she thinks about what to say, what wouldn’t betray zoro’s confidence. he never outright said there was anything pulpy and soft between the two of them, but it was an impression nami got — between the gaps of his words, and his hasty, almost angrily written script. not something she can necessarily describe without lying or assuming, and she doesn’t think she should, anyway. it’s about them. )
he said he didn’t think there was a you and him without me. but i don’t really think he’s thought about it. and i think you and me were under the influence of that blood gunk when we slept together at the orgy. so we also had outside intervention, like the mistletoe. but you don’t blame that, do you? because you know it would hurt my feelings. well, i think zoro’s feelings are hurt. or maybe just a little bruised. he didn’t say that, i’m assuming things.
[ no, he doesn't blame that. even without the influence of the blood ritual, being with her feels like an inevitability. he's been in love with her since the moment he first saw her sitting in the baratie, after all.
whatever... thing has been building between zoro and him, borne first of his grief over nami, it now exists as something so staunchly real that sanji can no longer pretend it away. he can't just erase the weeks of zoro's gentle hands on his bloody face, his solid presence in their shared bed at night, the brief, accidental brushes of sleep-warmed skin. he can't forget that zoro had been the one to brush his tears away with the grace to never mention his weakness, day after day. and then zoro had gotten nami back, for him, and sanji just —
he really hasn't said much of anything to zoro since. except for berating him about the mistletoe and then getting on his knees for him to put his dick in his mouth. ]
there was a me and him. i just don't really
i need to get started on your tarts. i'm going to fetch the oranges myself.
( it's definitely more than enough progress for one day — if she's honest, it's further than nami thought she would get anyway, so she's happy to let it rest there. in fact, the reasonable thing to do would be to let sanji process alone, and give him the same distance he gave her, when she ran away.
unfortunately, she is not sanji. she is much worse. )
can i come with? we don't have to talk, i just wanna shop. ( see: spend time with you. ) i'll let you carry my baaaaag. and you can teach me how to spot the good fruits from the bad ones.
( she grew up in a tangerine grove. she knows a spoiled orange when she sees it. what she doesn't know is if sanji will spiral or not without distractions. )
[ he wouldn't say no to nami regardless, but especially not after losing her — and he has time, anyway, to wipe his eyes, his notebook balanced on his knees where he sits on the floor of their bedroom, his back against the door. his throat feels tight, his hands unsteady as he writes.
at least this way he can avoid seeing zoro until he's busy in the kitchen, and it'll be easy enough to shoo him into the bedroom, where nami is sure to be dozing by then with a belly full of sweet pastries. nami had mentioned the idea of her and zoro enough times that sanji is comfortable believing it's what she wants, rather than whatever... all of this was. both of them, coming after him. ]
of course you can come with me! fruit-picking with nami 💓 i'll see you soon!
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no subject
yeah, i do. you were testing out the connection, right?
i think it worked pretty well.
nami, about that. zoro brought home a bundle of mistletoe because he thought it was edible, and i put it up all over the house because i didn't want it to go to waste.
it had a strange effect on the both of us. it stopped when i had him take it all down.
is that what you wanted to know about? it's not going to happen again.
no subject
that's what i wanted to talk about, actually. you could feel me, right? physically? when i was touching myself.
i could feel you. sometimes when i was touching, it felt like i was touching you, almost.
no subject
it did feel like you were touching me.
all the things you were feeling... the things you feel for zoro, that's also what made me act the way i did. i felt all of that, too.
i'm not mad about it, either. you and zoro.
if you liked it, then i could do it again. for you.
if it makes you happy.
cw: consent talk
could you feel what i felt for you, too?
i did like it, but it wouldn't make me happy if you were just doing it for me. i want you to be happy too, sanji.
and i kinda thought
i mean, i thought i felt something like that from you then, too. like maybe we felt the same sort of way towards zoro, a little.
it felt like you wanted me to push you into it, so you could enjoy it. but, i don't know. if that's just me seeing what i want to see i'm gonna feel really bad about encouraging you to do it.
no subject
i don't mind doing things for you, nami.
[ he'd been thinking a lot of things then, and feeling even more, and he doesn't know how much of it reached nami. clearly, some. the hateful lust he harbors for zoro's chiseled body and full lips and dark lashes, at least. if even an ounce of luck is on his side, she hadn't gotten a whiff of his absurd fears or his violent childhood ghosts that circle him like a carcass, all made worse every time he clashes with zoro. ]
i feel you all the time, now that we're connected.
you're my whole heartbeat. you're the one i want.
but i think about you and zoro sometimes.
i don't know exactly what you shared, but he
he probably needs you too.
no subject
right?
( we Gotta get this guy some sense of self worth. )
you're in my chest, too. heartbeat is the perfect way to put it.
we just kissed, the once. i think he doesn't want to upset you, after everything.
so i'm pretty sure he needs you, too. i already told him i'm not giving you up. now i'm telling you i'm not giving him up either.
no subject
finally — ]
it's hard to be with him.
[ that's. the stupidest thing he's ever heard. zoro, not wanting to upset him? he would go get permanently lost in the woods if that was actually the case, or not bring home bundles of poisonous, accidentally horny shit. ]
i don't want you to give him up. i don't want you to have to give anything up.
you should get everything you want and more. you deserve that.
do you want to do more with him than kiss?
no subject
( well, outside of a normal interaction, in their own specific sanji & zoro way. being sexually compatible is still something. a start. )
yeah, i do.
would that hurt you?
no subject
and if he has you too, he doesn't need that either. you're more than enough.
the two of you being together? no. it wouldn't hurt me.
i sort of
like the thought of it.
no subject
if you wanted more, that would be okay. you should get everything you want too.
and if you joined us?
do you like that?
no subject
i could watch.
no subject
you could join in.
no subject
cw: nsfw
what if we both got on our knees for you? whose throat would you fuck?
what if you’re the one who needs satisfying?
no subject
nami, i wouldn’t do that to you. it’s degrading.
so his.
[ he’s never. done that to anyone. 😔 ]
no subject
so i’d get left out? what if i got lonely?
no subject
my mouth and my hands would be free to do anything you wanted.
i thought this was about you and zoro, though. what the two of you want to do together.
no subject
what if we both want to make you feel good? you were doing a lot for both of us, last time. i want to know what it would be like the other way.
no subject
did zoro say something to you about me?
no subject
no subject
i'm not going to be unfair to him.
no subject
( a lull in her writing, while she thinks about what to say, what wouldn’t betray zoro’s confidence. he never outright said there was anything pulpy and soft between the two of them, but it was an impression nami got — between the gaps of his words, and his hasty, almost angrily written script. not something she can necessarily describe without lying or assuming, and she doesn’t think she should, anyway. it’s about them. )
he said he didn’t think there was a you and him without me. but i don’t really think he’s thought about it.
and
i think you and me were under the influence of that blood gunk when we slept together at the orgy. so we also had outside intervention, like the mistletoe. but you don’t blame that, do you? because you know it would hurt my feelings.
well, i think zoro’s feelings are hurt. or maybe just a little bruised.
he didn’t say that, i’m assuming things.
no subject
whatever... thing has been building between zoro and him, borne first of his grief over nami, it now exists as something so staunchly real that sanji can no longer pretend it away. he can't just erase the weeks of zoro's gentle hands on his bloody face, his solid presence in their shared bed at night, the brief, accidental brushes of sleep-warmed skin. he can't forget that zoro had been the one to brush his tears away with the grace to never mention his weakness, day after day. and then zoro had gotten nami back, for him, and sanji just —
he really hasn't said much of anything to zoro since. except for berating him about the mistletoe and then getting on his knees for him to put his dick in his mouth. ]
there was a me and him.
i just don't really
i need to get started on your tarts.
i'm going to fetch the oranges myself.
no subject
unfortunately, she is not sanji. she is much worse. )
can i come with? we don't have to talk, i just wanna shop. ( see: spend time with you. ) i'll let you carry my baaaaag. and you can teach me how to spot the good fruits from the bad ones.
( she grew up in a tangerine grove. she knows a spoiled orange when she sees it. what she doesn't know is if sanji will spiral or not without distractions. )
no subject
at least this way he can avoid seeing zoro until he's busy in the kitchen, and it'll be easy enough to shoo him into the bedroom, where nami is sure to be dozing by then with a belly full of sweet pastries. nami had mentioned the idea of her and zoro enough times that sanji is comfortable believing it's what she wants, rather than whatever... all of this was. both of them, coming after him. ]
of course you can come with me!
fruit-picking with nami 💓
i'll see you soon!