scone | — SALTBURNT INBOX.

i’m sorry about the way it happened. i sorry i didn’t say anything to you. i tried to do it all in a way that would hurt all of you the least, but i didn’t have time to think of a good plan, and i wasn’t operating at my best. i wanted to take you somewhere nice. somewhere we wouldn’t be poisoned by the house. like how i was with alina. and how you were with jinx. but i know taking you there was a mistake too, and i wouldn’t do that to you again. who? who has seen us together, doing what? i haven’t been with anyone. not even zoro. i’ve been trying to earn you back. i’ve been trying to be the kind of person you would even want back. you and jinx. so you played the game in the woods and now what?

Edited 2025-03-31 10:58 (UTC)

no i know you did what you thought would protect us. i wasn't trying to guilt you or make you feel bad i was i was trying to say i really missed you and i know how you feel

( people, she thinks. people have seen you. i have seen you. not that any particular instance comes to mind — the one ill-fated day that sanji came to his room covered in her, the time set said someone had seen them together. that whole blow up fight on the network with alina, a crazy person, and the genuine shock she felt when sanji came to her defense. it's the first time she's even heard about alina getting him a christmas present — which feels pretty fucking typical of alina as far as she knows. like she can't resist making things worse.

nami can see the it now. hindsight is all 20/20, and it's obvious — she's just gotten mad and jealous instead of asking for clarity, same as when she yelled at alina, who felt suffocating with her presence. it wasn't actually suffocating, she had just been there, because the house is only so big, and mistakes happen, and you're bound to cross paths with people you hate. she's crossed paths with set often enough to know the truth of that — stupid fucking set. )

you don't have to earn me. i'm already yours i thought before i was leaving you so you could be happy with her and you wouldn't have to worry about hurting me and you could have what you really want

( on the subject of jinx, though — )

i don't know i think you have to decide if you can forgive me or if i can earn your forgiveness for what i did and we have to decide what things look like going into the future. i mean. you and zoro are always gonna be everything to me that's not gonna change

i missed you too. i was thinking of you the whole time. you're all i've ever wanted. i thought you knew that. i've loved you from the moment i saw you at the baratie. i would never want to be with anyone but you. you and zoro. you're the only ones for me. i'm sorry that i made you think i was romantically interested in anyone else. i'm not. i would never do that to you. i don't know what you want me to forgive. do you want to be with jinx now?

( just say it, nami. he’s going to find out eventually. it’s better to rip the bandaid off and stare at her phone while waiting for a reply than it is to do any of it behind sanji’s back. )

no i want to be with jinx also. like i am with you and zoro i don’t know how she feels about it exactly or if it would be as feelings intense as our relationship but yeah that’s what i want. she’s crew

[ it's not that it's jinx that hurts. jinx is in fact a better choice than anyone else, lively and smart and strong, a perfect fit in nami's restaurant and on their crew. he's already decided he doesn't want anyone else in his kitchen. it’s just — all the raw uncertainty filling his cracks, thick and suffocating, to be freshly alive and still wonder. they weren’t together before, and he doesn’t know if he’s really any closer to it now. ]

and you you decided this all while i was dead? that you want to also be with someone else?

[ the posting makes a lot more sense now. ]

( Ok, Bitch, )

i didn't decide anything while you were dead. i wasn't like. oh sanji's dead, time to reevaluate my dating life i've never evaluated it in the first palce i was miserable. no one was around. you were dead. it was my fault. i wanted to walk into the woods and suffer. jinx found me and took care of me instead we only just talked about it now after that stupid gossip post it just meant a lot to me i don't have a lot of people i can rely on. i'm not gonna let her get in trouble for it so if you're mad get mad at me. i'm the one who messed up

it wasn't your fault. it was mine for not being there for you. i'm not going to get mad at you for telling me what you want. i wouldn't treat jinx like that, either. i like her. and i trust her. so if it's me you're worried about, it's okay. it's nothing. and if she likes you then i'm just glad that she can make you feel this way. i know it's not

[ easy. because jinx has done in... days? weeks? (how long was he dead? the weather has turned, so maybe longer than he thinks. he hopes.) what he couldn't do in what feels like a lifetime now. ]

well, i'm happy for you, nami! i know some of what she likes to eat, if you want me to make something special you can give her.

actually i was wondering if well maybe we could shelf that and you and i could go out somewhere instead? i could cook

oh. yes. yes, i'd love to go out somewhere with you. it's proper that i would take you out and cook for you, but if you want to cook, of course you can. there are also other people here that can do that for you. you shouldn't have to lift a finger.

[ nami... please...... ]

but i'm asking YOU out, so shouldn't i take care of it? ok i won't cook but only because i don't want to make you sick. i am planning it though. just wear something nice.

( turns out the solution to not being asked on a date to the business of the person your boyfriend cheated on you with (??? maybe??) is to plan it yourself. if you want something done not stupidly, you have to put on your big girl pants and stop waiting to be wowed. )

— SALTBURNT INBOX.

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