scone | — SALTBURNT INBOX.

( adjusting to life at the mansion is — really hit or miss, depending on the day. the regularity of everything is fucking weird: breakfast, fucking around, lunch, fucking around, dinner, fucking around, then a seemingly agreed upon bedtime. zoro's used to staying up at odd hours when it's his turn to keep watch from the crow's nest, or waking up at the ass crack of dawn to hunt prey to bring back to the cabin so they don't starve. some days, he doesn't want to eat breakfast at 9 am on the dot. some days he doesn't want to see some shithead cook in the dining room trying to charm a maid or edge his way into the kitchen to prepare something special for someone special.

it's part why he spends a lot of nights in nami's room, honestly — and occasionally koby's, too, when zoro's feeling particularly pathetic and isn't in the mood to talk about his feelings because at least koby will listen when zoro tells him to shut the fuck up about it. it pisses him off to lay in his own offensively large bed at night thinking about the fact that there are only two walls and a bathroom separating him from some asshole that loves him but pretends that he doesn't. even though he's finally figured out a way to remember where his room is, it's better off this way — even if it means sometimes accidentally falling asleep on a pile of mats in the manor's huge gym at 3 am.

zoro leaves dinner early tonight, angrily tugging at the bow tie around his neck that feels like it's strangling him. it's one thing to stare at a certain blonde across the room for a little too long because the fancy, expensive clothes this place has suit him and he looks stupidly good — and it's another to get caught. he shucks off his clothes in a heap on the bathroom floor, stepping into the hot water he's drawn into the large claw-foot tub in the center of the bathroom and sinking into its pleasantly scented depths. nami says she likes bubble baths because they're relaxing. zoro needs to fucking relax.

— and he maybe does, for a little while, arms draped lazily over the lip of the tub, head tipping back, eyes closed. when the door opens, zoro tenses, brow furrowing even if he remains determined to keep his eyes closed and look serene and unfuckingbothered. )

If you have to piss, go piss and then fuck off.

it's my birthday.

( weird text, because she doesn't know where they stand, but. you know. it's her day and if she wants several boyfriends on this day, she's going to get them. )

when's yours?

Did you not tell Zoro about me? I mean, thank you but He has no idea. He has NO IDEA I wasn't READY FOR THIS CONVERSATION I'm going to have to explain things SO CLEARLY because he won't GET IT OTHERWISE.

do you hate blowjobs or something

sanji. what do you think of this place?

( Someone is still trying to wrap their head around things it seems. Luffy has noticed that despite people saying there's no way out, not a lot of people appear to be looking for one either..... )

(The next time Sanji leaves his room he'll find a small bag of rough-shaped sugar cookies in a bag on the ground by his door. The label says Sanji. Only fair as captain that I make you something! Luffy.

Said cookies look passable and probably would have been, had Luffy checked the ingredients and used sugar rather than salt. It's the thought that counts, right?)

you didn't need to change your vote if you didn't want to. i changed mine to take the heat from the others when people thought we were ganging up.

[Koby stays angry for all of one day, surprise.]

Are you okay?

are you in your room

Sanji of the pirates.

Have you time to speak with me?

Hello. This is Sanji the cook?

I have something I would like to deliver to you, if you're available near the kitchen.

you are sanji, yes? the pirate said you are an adept cook.

sanji. what happened between you, nami and that other lady on the network?

sanji my man i know youre prob gonna be insanely busy with holiday cooking coming up but if i needed a batch of eggnog for say idk at least 200 people do you think you could swing it

( left outside sanji's door on the 12th, sanji will find what might be a familiar bag, reminiscent of sol & scroll's paper bags. the items inside are folded in scant tissue paper, like their wrapper instinctively intended to keep the fragile items tucked inside safe, and decided — at the last second — not to bother. all of the items inside are handpainted, including: an ashtray for his cigarettes, drink coasters in the shapes of various colorful fruits, a set of four plates with floral designs, a decorated tray to hold his eggs as he bakes, and a kitschy set of measuring cups.

underneath the pile of gifts sits a hastily written note that appears jaggedly torn off from a journal page: )

I couldn't let these go to waste, and there's no other chef in the kitchen that would make use of them. I made these for you when I still thought we were friends — but friends don't let their other friends think badly of them, and then do nothing to defend them when they're being treated unfairly.

That's not your fault. It's mine, for thinking anyone in this place won't put their own people above everyone else.

We're even, now. I don't owe you anything more for what you did for me.

— Alina

So.

[He lets it linger juuuust long enough to be about anything -- Nami, Zoro, the crew, the party -- because little shit is the best language Sanji speaks. But then:] Are you going to be in Wally's show?

[The gift comes wrapped meticulously in paper that, while not strictly holiday-themed is nevertheless very appropriate, considering who it’s from. The gift is inside, nestled in pale blue tissue paper:

An assortment of candied fruit, nuts and chocolates from the faire, for those of his friends who actually eat. For those who don’t, this portion of the gift is replaced with a simple calendar.

A jar of tea courtesy of Sol & Scroll, because everyone needs more relaxing sleep around here. (He took off the label for you, Sanji, shhh).

For Sanji, the earrings he'd lent him during the drag show, and a tie.

The note, on thick, cream-colored card stock, is in a somewhat wobbly, but earnest hand:]

Sanji -

I miss her too. You have a knack for finding strange, uncomfortable, weird kids and making them feel safe. Like they have a family.

You did that for me. Whatever happens after this place, I'm always going to be grateful for that. Thank you.

I try not to spy, but if it helps: things aren't as bad as you think they are. Nobody who you've loved like that could ever hate you.

Merry Christmas
- Koby

Can you teach me how to make a pie?

hey chef
what do u fight with
do u fight
i’ll make it better before the undead get here

[ do not die!!! ]

everyone else came back already u know

we should talk about what you read

Your foxy girl was real cute during the hunt, mate. You miss out on that party?

[shanks has done his part, nami is reeling and lost and dizzied, but she's not the only one who loved zoro. she's not the only one who needs to know. so:]

Zoro's gone. I've looked everywhere, but I can't feel him and neither can Shanks. I think he went home.

i didn’t kill ur girlfriend
hope u guys r happy together
i wont be in the kitchen for a while 👍

action bc whatever

text — un: NAMIGATOR, backdated to yesterday

text; un: koby

text — un: NAMIGATOR

text | un: KINGOFTHEPIRATES

no subject

text | un: pirate

un: koby

text — un: xXxSW0RDSMAN3xXx

text — un: aemond_

voice. | un: diarmuid

un: lauralae

text | un: pirate

text » @velocity