Well. Yes. But he can still sense him, like I can. Better, even. It could be the house playing tricks but I don't think it is. It doesn't feel like it does when it's the house.
Several things, but I'm fine. It's handled. Tim came back, he was some sort of angry bird fire thing. Don't worry about it.
well, then sense him. he wouldn't just disappear. i have his sword. another one. i just got it from the library. once we get the third one, he'll have everything he needs.
then he's dead like i was, and he'll come back like i did.
[ because he wouldn't have left. he wouldn't have. not when the last thing sanji asked him to do was kill him, and the last thing sanji told him was that he loved him, and he's received neither forgiveness nor an answer in return. once. he's only gotten those three words once from zoro, ever, and it was when sanji was splitting them apart so that zoro could be with nami instead because sanji didn't deserve her, and he never made that right either.
his anger verges on tears, stung that koby would do this to him, would say these words to him. at the mere thought that the shitty mosshead would even dare not to be here. ]
it's in our room. i left it by his bed, so he could find it.
[this is -- harder than he'd anticipated, his head pounding, back aching, chest tight with the ambient bleed of sanji's emotions and nami's, having to insist again and again on the fact that he can feel sanji shattering under.
but not telling him is worse. it has to be worse. koby can't imagine how, but it has to be.]
If he was dead, I could find him. I wouldn't lie to you, Sanji. I wouldn't tell you this unless I knew it was the truth. I'm sorry.
[ koby wouldn't lie to him. zoro is the most steadfast person he knows, solid and unmoving and stronger than sanji would ever admit. he wouldn't leave him like this. but koby wouldn't lie, either. ]
[ are they? he agreed to never speak to alina again, a choice that stings but is worth it if it might keep jinx out of trouble. alina has people who love her. his friendship is no great loss.
not when his presence brings this. ]
i should go to her. i'm sure she's upset, and i have to apologize. zoro's gone because of me.
he'd say this soooo much more tactfully if he wasn't currently concussed, but:]
You aren't allowed to go see her if you're going to say stupid things like that. He is not gone because of you. He's gone because that's how this place works. It takes people away and it hurts us and it feeds on our misery. It's the village, dressed up nicer. I thought you knew that.
I can't tell you not to blame yourself, because you never listen to me, but don't say those things to Nami. I mean it, Sanji.
it's the truth. you don't know what he had to do. what i asked him to do, because i couldn't do it myself. anyone would leave after that. you're going to stand there and tell me the timing doesn't make sense? maybe you and shanks can't feel him anymore today, but he left months ago when he killed me. we both died, and i was the only one who came back.
it should've been him. he loves her. he knows how to love her. and i took that away from her.
That's right. You came back. What are you going to do with that, Sanji?
You get to be here, with her, on the worst day of her life. You're not dead, you're not gone. You're here. Be here, with Nami. Punish yourself for whatever you believe you did later.
[ he's right, as he always is. what nami and zoro had was... loving. dependable. not like the fraught, constantly snapping thing sanji had with him, and not the ache that lives between him and nami. ]
i'll go make some tea and bring by some food. i'm sure she won't want to go anywhere, but i'll try to get her to eat something in a few hours. thank you for looking after her.
[oh thank whatever god was listening. it's not -- good, it's still not good, koby can feel that, the grief and hollow horror that emanates from sanji still. he probably doesn't want comfort -- probably imagines himself deserving of being alone in his grief. but koby is koby, and he's looking after nami and he's also nudging that sweet-blush-pink curl of hereiam up against the shape of sanji's mind, his soul, nothing but warmth and echoing grief and love, despite it all, despite everything.]
Thank you. I'll keep checking in on you two. Let me know if she needs anything.
[ he can feel koby's concern from here, his willingness to be helpful as he always is, as he always wants to be. he'll be stretching himself thin too, so sanji will make sure he makes enough food to make a stop at koby's door as well. ]
it's fine. you know i didn't really give a shit about him anyway.
[ blocked and reported if you call him out on this. ]
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Yes.
But he can still sense him, like I can.
Better, even.
It could be the house playing tricks but I don't think it is. It doesn't feel like it does when it's the house.
Several things, but I'm fine. It's handled. Tim came back, he was some sort of angry bird fire thing. Don't worry about it.
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i have his sword. another one. i just got it from the library.
once we get the third one, he'll have everything he needs.
[ ??????????????????? ok ]
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I wouldn't even say it unless I was sure.
And I'm sure.
Do you have the sword now or [he's a little worried about you having a weapon rn bestie]
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[ because he wouldn't have left. he wouldn't have. not when the last thing sanji asked him to do was kill him, and the last thing sanji told him was that he loved him, and he's received neither forgiveness nor an answer in return. once. he's only gotten those three words once from zoro, ever, and it was when sanji was splitting them apart so that zoro could be with nami instead because sanji didn't deserve her, and he never made that right either.
his anger verges on tears, stung that koby would do this to him, would say these words to him. at the mere thought that the shitty mosshead would even dare not to be here. ]
it's in our room. i left it by his bed, so he could find it.
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but not telling him is worse. it has to be worse. koby can't imagine how, but it has to be.]
If he was dead, I could find him.
I wouldn't lie to you, Sanji. I wouldn't tell you this unless I knew it was the truth.
I'm sorry.
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does nami know?
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Yes.
Are you two fighting?
Can you stop for a little bit, maybe?
She needs you.
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not when his presence brings this. ]
i should go to her. i'm sure she's upset, and i have to apologize.
zoro's gone because of me.
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he'd say this soooo much more tactfully if he wasn't currently concussed, but:]
You aren't allowed to go see her if you're going to say stupid things like that.
He is not gone because of you.
He's gone because that's how this place works. It takes people away and it hurts us and it feeds on our misery. It's the village, dressed up nicer. I thought you knew that.
I can't tell you not to blame yourself, because you never listen to me, but don't say those things to Nami. I mean it, Sanji.
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anyone would leave after that. you're going to stand there and tell me the timing doesn't make sense? maybe you and shanks can't feel him anymore today, but he left months ago when he killed me. we both died, and i was the only one who came back.
it should've been him. he loves her. he knows how to love her. and i took that away from her.
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What are you going to do with that, Sanji?
You get to be here, with her, on the worst day of her life.
You're not dead, you're not gone. You're here.
Be here, with Nami.
Punish yourself for whatever you believe you did later.
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i'll go make some tea and bring by some food. i'm sure she won't want to go anywhere, but i'll try to get her to eat something in a few hours.
thank you for looking after her.
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Thank you.
I'll keep checking in on you two. Let me know if she needs anything.
And I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry, Sanji.
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[ he can feel koby's concern from here, his willingness to be helpful as he always is, as he always wants to be. he'll be stretching himself thin too, so sanji will make sure he makes enough food to make a stop at koby's door as well. ]
it's fine. you know i didn't really give a shit about him anyway.
[ blocked and reported if you call him out on this. ]
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I'll keep an eye on Nami until you get there. I'll make sure she's safe.