scone | — SALTBURNT INBOX.

[ don't ask about nami don't ask about nami don't ask about ]

who else can cook for a crowd here?

Nobody I can think of. But that's not really what I meant. I said "be IN the show".

that's what i'm doing IN the show. i'm cooking. with a lot of knives.

Oh. Well, you didn't SAY that.

did you want me to say something else? are you gonna be there?

"Yes, I will be in the show cooking as part of the show rather than behind the scenes as you mistakenly assumed". Maybe. I'll help out backstage. Lighting and sound and cues and stuff. I don't think I'd be suited for the stage.

wally said i had to be dressed up if i wanted to cook. so i'll be in the show, dressed up, cooking with knives. why not? you were already crazy enough to join the marines once. join something else.

Oh! Good. :) Pink, right? I don't know if it's Allowed? I mean It's different in Otherworld. Nobody can really see me there. Besides, I look so stupid in dresses.

[ how does he Know ]

yeah. a lot of stuff going on, so i have to cook around it. if it's not allowed, i can kill wally for you. but i don't think he's the type to not allow something like that. if you don't want to wear a dress, then don't. you could do that thing where you're not either one.

[ look how far he's come! ]

[Because he looks prettiest in pink, obviously.]

You can do that. You could cook upside-down in a hurricane. Did you pick everything out already? I'll be helping the girls mostly, so they don't hurt themselves, but I can help, if you need me to. No, no, I know. It's more I don't know. I used to wish so, so hard I was pretty, but I wasn't, and that's fine, it's over now. But I guess I'm worried if I try now, I still won't be? That doesn't make any sense, does it. The one that's not either, right. Ambisexual or something like that. [No.]

if you could come by after everything's on and fix everything that needs fixing, that'd be good. jinx is putting on my face. i saw your picture. that time in the snow. remember? you were. pretty. idiot. i don't know what that word means, and i don't know what you want to try to be. but i know it'd be stupid if you decide you can't just for one night.

Nothing's going to need fixing. But good, I'll bring you part of your gift then. Jinx, really? Actually that makes a lot of sense, nevermind. Oh. Right. You know, you're the only one here who has? Who's seen me like that.
[The pause before the next message lasts a bit longer.] You thought I was pretty? I don't really know. A boy. Man. But I used to like flowers and pink and ribbons and soft, nice things. A lot. I still do. Maybe I can be a man who likes those things. Is that what you are? Do you think? Or something else? You can tell me to shut the fuck up, if you want.

i don't need a gift, koby. the gift is that you didn't die when your head exploded. yeah. i don't know why you thought you weren't. maybe because you don't like girls enough. [ or at all? freak. ]

i like all those things. i always have. ever since i was a little brat, i always liked the things my mother and my sister liked more than anything my brothers did. if i never fought again for the rest of my life, i wouldn't miss it. but if i never served another person a warm meal, i'd lose my mind. serving others wasn't seen as something a man should do, in my family. if you're going to be a man, you better be a less shitty one than all the rest. that means just being you. we don't need more of anyone else.

Too late, I made fifty-six Christmas cards to afford it, and it's already wrapped. Pretty girls got adopted. I didn't. I ran away before I could get a job at the cannery or in some rich guy's house as a maid, which was the best a not-pretty orphan could ask for. And I like girls just fine. I'm just not one of them. Oh. [There's a reflexive urge to write this down, to try and trace out a map built from the scraps Sanji's given him, but.] It seems impossible, imagining you not cooking. It'd be a waste. A Tragedy, maybe. I'm glad you didn't listen to your family. About that and everything else. I'll do my best. And maybe try something on, when I'm helping you get ready. If I look stupid you can't laugh at me, though, or I'll cry.

— SALTBURNT INBOX.

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